Freak like me
by MyMorna
Summary: Being the first female werewolf in history, Leah is both broken hearted and worried about her future. But she is not the only one. Is being different really that bad? And can two souls help each other?
1. Stupid imprints

Stupid imprints. Stupid boys. As if it's not enough that I can read their thoughts on football, fights and cars. With all these imprints in the pack, living a normal and preferably happy life is getting very nearly impossible. Of course, I was happy I could avoid Sam now that Jacob was my Alpha. Hearing his accidental thoughts of Emily was unbearable. I knew he was trying to hide his thoughts. But knowing that he only did that out of pity for me (pity!) made me murderous. However, he was not my leader anymore, and that meant I was also protected from his love, his love for someone else than me.

My new "family" consisted of Jake, Quill and Embry. Seth, my real family, was pretty much forced to join Sam's pack again. He was just too young to stay with us, unprotected by the reservation. Sam was a good and responsible leader who could keep Seth in line and protect him when needed, I'd give him that. Anyway, that left me with three boys, hardly mature but due to genetics looking like they were in their late twenties. Obviously, every one of them had plenty of attention from girls. It wasn't like the girls got lucky though. Both Quill and Jacob were obsessing over their infant imprints. Literally infant. Claire, Quills imprint, was just three years old. Renesmee (though Jake preferred to call her Nessie), Jacob's soul mate, was a few months old, but due to circumstances (in short she was a freak, a human-vampire hybrid) she both looked and behaved like she was a five year old. Embry was the only one that was still sane. He still hadn't found his other half and therefore spent his time flirting around with giggly girls.

Me? I was pretty much a mystery, as much a freak as Nessie. The first female werewolf in our history, the one that no one would imprint on. And the one that was no longer fertile, already menopausal. I could probably enjoy myself with some human boys, I used to be pretty and even though I conveniently cut my hair and wore sportive clothes, I still caught guys looking at me wherever I went. It didn't matter. I was still longing for Sam. I briefly wondered whether the hurt would ever stop. Thank god I was in my human shape. I didn't want any of my brothers to know about my aching, about my weakness.

As for now, I was indulging Jacob's wish to see Nessie, keeping him company on his way to her and her parents, damn blood suckers. Stupid imprints. She was all he could think of, it was exhausting. "Leah, you really don't have to do this, you know?" Jacob's voice got in my head. Not literally, luckily. In our human forms, we could just talk instead of read the other's mind. I must have gotten carried away and I had no idea for how long Jacob was talking to me. Regardless, I knew instantly what he was talking about. "Drop it, Jacob," I snorted. "Allies or not, I'm still not feeling comfortable leaving my Alpha face blood suckers at their place. Especially not when there are still unfamiliar blood suckers around. I don't trust them."

After our encounter with the Volturi, most of the so-called witnesses left back to where they came from. I couldn't be happier about it; every blood sucker near Forks was one too much. But two of the leeches decided to stay a bit longer. Well, one and a half more like it. A woman and a young guy. I believed she introduced herself as Hooliyan and he as Nawheel. It could also have been something different; I didn't really care about their names. Their story was sort of interesting though. He was a hybrid like Nessie, she was his biological aunt and a full vampire. Both of them traveled all the way from South America to help us. I only saw them from a distance in the field, but I had to be grateful to them for saving our lives. Nawheel was the one to provide certainty about Nessie's future by telling about his own. It was a certainty that could not be doubted and that gave the Volturi their escape option on the fight. Jacob explained later, that it was Bella, Nessie's mother, who they were really terrified of. The girl had mastered impressive shielding skills, protecting us from any mental attacks. Knowing that I also owed my life to her bugged me.

Anyway, it had been almost two days since the confrontation. Though Jake intended on going back to Nessie the day after the fight, he could not avoid the responsibilities of being one of the Alphas. Due to the Volturi's visit, a lot of kids gained their werewolf powers lately, and it was Jake's duty to comfort them after the horror of the vampire judges. Of course, Sam was on it too, which automatically meant I would spend my time somewhere else. Jake's father and sister also wanted to see him around a bit more and he had to refrain from going to the Cullens for one day. I spent the day in my wolf form, running around. I convinced Jacob I was still being paranoid and wanted to look out for potential blood suckers. But in reality I just really wanted to avoid the whole Sam and Emily wedding preparation thing that was going on lately. Plus, to be honest I sort of got used to my wolf shape, I even enjoyed the feeling of mud and gravel under my claws. Still, I was glad when Jacob finally got back. Even though this meant I would have to accompany him to Nessie and the other blood suckers.

When we advanced our destination, the large, old fashioned house where Nessie and her family lived, I asked Jake to wait for me. In several seconds I got behind a tree and let my shape shift. When I faced Jake again, I could see my reflection in his eyes: a big, grey skinny wolf with a slightly messy fur fit perfectly with the surrounding green of the forest. "This really wasn't necessary you know", Jacob sighed. I smirked, flashing my canines. Then I deliberately walked over to a large pine tree in front of the Cullens' house and lied down, putting my head on my front paws. Jake sighed once again and headed for the door.


	2. Eavesdropping

I'm not sure how long I have been lying under that tree. A few days ago the first snow fell down on Forks and in the twilight the moonlight was beautifully reflected by the shimmering white flakes. Yes, this was definitely a benefit of being a werewolf. Normal humans would probably freeze with this cold, but I was as comfortable as ever. Even the flakes that fell on my fur and nose and instantly melted into little drops of cold water didn't bother me. I lay perfectly still, enjoying the quiet surroundings. My head was also quiet. That meant that none of my brothers had shape shifted yet. Jacob left the house once, only to invite me in. Even as a wolf I was able to roll my eyes at his invitation. As if I would ever voluntarily visit any place blood suckers live. Jake just shook his head, but left me where I was. Some time after that Esme, the mother figure of the vampire family, visited me herself and repeated the invitation. Though she was also one of the filthy blood suckers, she appeared polite and sincere. I felt sorry for her disappointment when she understood that I would spend my evening outside. Not sorry enough to change my mind, obviously, but still.

For a while, I just lay there, my head on my paws. At some point I closed my eyes. No one would be able to fool a wolf's hearing anyway. I focused on the sounds around me. Despite the winter there were some birds. I recognized an owl and some little birds of prey. Somewhere in the distance, there were sounds of a highway, cars passing by. Then there were the soft voices from the house. I didn't catch the words, just the intonation.

When I heard a large wooden door softly open and close, I peeked through my eyelashes. Two male silhouettes, both big and muscled but none of them the familiar shape of Jacob. Hmph, the bloodsuckers probably go hunting. I shut my eyes again and evened my breath. Just let them think I'm sleeping…

I heard the two stop about a hundred feet away from where I was staying. I pricked up my ears, curious for their conversation despite my aversion against their nature. I could recognize the men behind the voices now. One voice belonged to Jasper, the muscular guy who somehow fell out of place even with the other Cullens. I remembered Jake telling me once how Jasper almost killed Bella once. Huh. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy then. The other voice was less sickly sweet, more real, manly. Nawheel, I realized. Apparently I tuned in at an interesting point. Human blood, such a lovely topic for an evening conversation…

"You don't understand… It has been hundreds of years! And even when I stopped, it was just in order to protect myself, my emotions… and I kept failing! While all this time it was just a matter of will, of attitude… All the spilled blood, all those wasted lives! Bella is gifted of course. But that does not let me escape my responsibility!" This was Jasper. His words surprised me. A vampire feeling what, regret? Even remorse? I couldn't be sure.

His companion seemed to stay calm, listening to the passionate self-criticism. "I don't understand?" he chuckled. There was something dark about this chuckle. It somehow reminded me of the way I usually think about my bitterness since Sam chose Emily: self-deprecating with just a bit of sadness in it. "I don't understand? Jasper, at least you tried! It was already in the first years that I had learned I could survive on human food. And I kept killing. Do you want to know how many people I have killed? Trying to convince myself it didn't matter. They were not even from my mother's tribe, anyway. They were just food, it was natural. I told myself all of this. And then I meet you. All of you. And you show us that love can exist on an even deeper level, deeper than the family bond between me and Huilen. A bond of souls, willing to deny their thirst. A matter of attitude, you called it. It is. Only your attitude has been so much better than mine."

I heard Jasper inhale, ready for an answer. I could come up with some creative ones as well. But Nawheel wasn't finished apparently. He continued, before Jasper could interrupt. "Regret won't do here, though. I learned that much in the past couple of days. It's not how you're born, or created in your case. It's the choices you make. I'm not going to spend my days whining about my past. That's not a way of honoring lives. I will stop drinking blood however. And maybe, there will be a way for me to repay my debt eventually." Though his voice was steady throughout his monologue, I heard some deep emotion beneath the surface.

I had to admit I felt some respect for the hybrid. At least he was taking responsibility for his deeds. His past was still repulsive, of course. But maybe his future wouldn't be. I wondered about the reply Jasper would make. And then I realized, just a second too late, that I got so caught up in their conversation that I missed everything else. Jacob couldn't know, of course. So he was not to blame, that when he opened the house door and called my name, finally ready to go home, he basically told the two vampires outside that they had been overheard. They were at my side in a second, one on my right and the other one on my left. So close, I had a hard time keeping the smells apart. Their proximity made me dizzy. For some reason I felt my gaze pulled to the one on the right. Ready to defend myself, I looked up and stared in the auburn eyes of Nawheel…


	3. One wild night

**It took me a bit longer to write this chapter. Hope you'll enjoy it and looking forward to your feedback!**

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><p>I stared at him, not noticing anything or anyone around me. It was as if through his eyes, his soul pulled me to him. I couldn't break loose. And I didn't want to. In this moment, suddenly everything made sense. It was as if every step in my life was one step in this direction, in his direction. I looked through his eyes and at the same time I discovered every single part of him. I noticed his skin, hot chocolate, not cold snow. His fast legs and his sheltering arms. His black hair, slightly longer than mine, framing his face. And his face, almost a work of art. I was drawn to him as if by gravity. Unable to restrain any longer, I leaned closer to him...<p>

I watched him staring at me shocked, stepping back just a bit. And the next second, I was pinned against the pine by Jasper's muscular arms. My sanity returned to me then, or part of it, and I realized that compared to this drama, my life before could be considered a fairy tale. No happily ever after here... Yet I didn't get much time to ponder. Jacob hurried over, snarling at Jasper. This tiny distraction was all I needed to break free and launch myself home. I let my inner wolf take the lead and within a minute I was back at the res, in my human shape. Falling apart.

I would have loved to pretend that I had no idea what happened. But fooling myself wouldn't help. I knew. I've seen it before, through the eyes of others. Sam, Jared, Quill, Paul, even Jacob... This feeling, more powerful than love at first sight. A magnetism, an insane power that kept the world together. The imprint. Now, it kept my world together too. And at the same time, it was the force that made my world fall apart.

Jacob would be here soon, I suspected. He couldn't have stayed oblivious to the way I acted, even though in his human shape he wasn't able to read my mind. He would find out soon enough, anyway. And he would understand, probably. His imprint was a hybrid as well. Yes, I guess he would understand, but I wasn't ready for the confrontation now. The best thing I could do for now is just go home and try to get myself some sleep, let my subconscious distract my mind.

Seth would be staying out late tonight, something with a girl... the kid grew up fast. I was happy he would be out, his uncanny feeling for others' moods was not something I could use at the moment. Of course, there was still my mother. She had no uncanny intuition, but I was her daughter and she wasn't blind. Luckily, she was staying at Charlie Swan's tonight. I couldn't say I was happy with this new connection between me and Bella Swan, but tonight it would be convenient.

When I approached the house, I was surprised to find light pouring through the window. Mother was not the kind of woman to forget to switch it off. Seth, maybe? But a few steps towards the house later, I heard voices as well. Mom's, patient but pleading. Seth's, upset and even shocked? I hurried towards the house, grateful for the distraction. I was almost near the door when I saw Seth rushing outside. "Just leave me al...!" he snarled, phasing midsentence. The hell I would. But this was atypical Seth behavour. The kid was sweet-tempered like nobody else I know, the first one to get along with the blood suckers. So what was this all about? At least I wouldn't have to open the door, Seth left it wide open.

I entered, preparing myself to find my mother angry at Seth's outburst. She was tough and normally wouldn't tolerate one of her children walking out on her. I found her sitting next to the fire place. She wasn't crying, after dad's funeral she never cried, but she certainly looked like she wouldn't be able to keep herself together much longer. "Mom? What happened?" It was this simple question that did it. The last of her self control vanished and she was crying, unable to answer me. I don't handle crying people well normally and this time it was even worse. In my head, I cursed Seth for doing this. Now he was off to the woods, which was also something I would need to deal with, and I was stuck here, unable to comfort my own mother. So I just sat down next to her and waited for her to calm down. "Mom, what has happened?" I repeated the question, unable to keep anxiousness out of my voice.

She began talking then, avoiding my eyes. "It's not something I wanted you to know. In fact, I would have loved to keep it a secret forever. I'm so sorry you're finding out like this…" I still didn't understand what this was all about and she noticed my confusion. I saw her inhaling once, twice, and then the words came out: "Seth has a brother. Embry Call." It took me several seconds to process those words, the implications. I was enraged then. "What? How?" My body was shaking and it took me effort to keep myself together. I saw her wincing from my shouting but she told me the story. About my father, who left her for this other woman for some time. No, not just "this other woman", Embry's mom, whom we all knew. How could they have kept this a secret for such a long time? I never heard my mother blaming my father for this. As far as I could remember, they never argued at all. Nor did she ever consider leaving him. Or did she?

And as my mother's words replayed in my head, I noticed a small detail that escaped me at first, when I just learned about our relationship to Embry. A tiny detail with an enormous impact. Because it was not about our relationship. It was about Seth's. "Seth has a brother", mom said. Seth, not me. My shaking turned harder, but I had to know. "Mother. What did you mean when you said Seth has a brother? Just Seth, is that it? So what does that make me?" I noticed knowledge flashing in her eyes briefly, and the way her face lost all color confirmed my suspicion. Embry was not related to me. Which could only mean one thing. Harry was not my father. Unable to control myself further I shot through the door in panic, smashing it as I went. Once outside, I finally let go of my control, instantly phasing. I didn't realize my mistake until I heard my Alpha's voice in my head. "Leah, I don't know what has happened, but you need to get down here right away. What the hell is going on with you, with Seth? And don't you want to discuss the minor issue of your IMPRINT?" Shit. How would I ever survive this night?


	4. Talking to my Alpha

The imprint. I somehow managed to forget about that, wrapped up in the problems at home. Apparently, Seth was able to keep himself distracted while he was in his wolf shape, because I heard Jacob's short, shocked "Oh!" when he caught up with my mother's words that replayed in my head. Judging by the mutual silence that fell after, Seth was already back in his human form and Quill and Embry hadn't phased yet. I guess Embry needed some time to be on his own and I couldn't blame him. I would expect myself to do the same, but something changed in me in the last couple of months. I didn't mind Jake's company, I even enjoyed it. He knew a lot about me, paying attention to moments when I let down my guard. So far, he had never betrayed my secrets. And tonight, I could really use somebody to talk to, sort things out.

As I thought this, I heard Jacob hesitating. For a second, he considered getting in touch with Embry first, but then decided against it. "Get down here", he sent me several mental images of his location. A deserted part of the beach, covered with driftwood and rocks. I knew the spot well, spent countless hours there before, staring at the moon's reflection in the stormy water. I nodded, grateful for the place he picked. "Thanks," I told him, "I know Embry's your best friend." He just shrugged. "You're my friend too, you know," he smiled. "And, I'm pretty sure you could use my wise advice better now," he was actually grinning now and despite the mess in my head I had to join in. "Well, master Yoda, I'll join you in a few," was my final reply before I shot through the forest to the ocean.

Jacob was there when I arrived, already human. He sat on a small rock, his eyes closed, his arms supporting his torso as he was leaning backwards. Even now, "off duty", he still looked like a real leader. Once again I thanked heaven and hell that at the time Jacob stood up to claim his birth right.

Of course, I was less thrilled at the time. His reasons seemed ridiculous: how could he betray his pack, his brothers? Worse, how could he betray us over a girl who treated him like he was her toy? I couldn't wrap my mind around it. And then, as I was too busy watching Sam's rage over Jacob's revolution I forgot about Seth for just a second. With all the pack's exclamations in my head, it took me a while to realize that I couldn't hear Seth anymore. I remember the panic that washed through me alerting the others to Seth's absence. And then, between all those different voices in my head, there was one that was strong and clear: "He made his choice." It was Sam's voice and there was sadness in it, mixed with frustration. For him, this meant the attack would probably be postponed. And then he had another, probably involuntary thought: "What is it with you Clearwaters?" Pain took over and I launched myself towards the village.

Even when I was out of the woods I had to work hard to calm myself down. Yet after a few minutes, I was able to shift back to my woman shape. The shape of a young woman, or whoever I was supposed to be. I tried to brush the tears on my cheeks away. Sam wasn't worth it. None of them were. I'd deal with them later. Now first I had to find Seth before he would be in any danger and drag him back to the res. It didn't help that I couldn't hear him. Damn this new pack division!

And then it hit me. A new pack division. Seth was member of a different pack and that was what made him free of Sam. That would be just my luck: me looking for the solution for months, and Seth accidentally finding it. Suddenly, finding Seth seemed like an even better idea. And suddenly, dragging him back didn't sound that good at all. Rather, I would stay with him and protect him. Away from Sam. This thought was the sweetest music to me. Even if it meant staying with Jacob and protecting a bunch of leeches.

It didn't take me long to find Seth and Jacob then. Once I made my choice, I was surprised to find I was able to hear them. Good. That meant I didn't need Jacob's permission to stay in order to belong to their pack. I raced to their location, prepared for their hostility. I handled Jacob's initial reaction well. The only time his words stung was when he unknowingly repeated Sam's words: "What is it with you Clearwaters?" I wasn't able to hold my façade much longer then. My hurt gave away my pain. Yet it was pain Jacob recognized, and he reluctantly let me stay, both at that time and later when he and Sam divided the pack's members.

It seemed so long ago. Last months had been hard on all of us. Provided with our common enemy, the Volturi, we grew closer. So close, that Jacob and I were actually friends now. Like I said, I didn't mind being with him, discussing the imprint and my suddenly uncertain family situation. I smiled as I walked towards my Alpha.

When I was about 20 feet away, he turned around, his eyes meeting mine. "Well, last night didn't impact your speed. I didn't expect you would make it so soon", he flashed me a smile. I rolled my eyes. "Couldn't wait to see you again", I answered. He patted a spot on the rock right next to him. "Come on, get over here and tell me all about it." He was serious now, his voice sympathetic.

As I made myself comfortable on the rock, I saw Jacob looking at me, concerned. I must have been in worse shape than I thought. As I tried to collect my thoughts, Jacob spoke first: "I forgot to tell you, Jasper asked me to give you his apologies." Wow. I mean w-o-w. A vampire, apologizing to me. That was something new. "Why?" My voice was clearly stunned. Jacob grinned. "It's something about his past", he told me. "I don't know the details, but apparently he doesn't think it fit to strangle a lady. He followed his instincts to protect and that's why he reacted the way he did." I winced at the word 'lady' but had to smile at Jasper's apparently decent upbringing. "Well, tell him his apologies are accepted", I allowed. "Besides, I guess my behavior must have been odd to him."

For some reason, Jacob looked embarrassed when I said that. "Actually…", he hesitated, "Actually Jasper was the one who found out about the imprint." Oh great. I forgot how Jasper was the guy who could sense emotions. I guess mine were a sweet cocktail at the time. I blushed, recalling the confusion. Jacob noticed, apparently, because he lightly touched my shoulder with one of his enormous hands. "Don't worry, girl, I know what you're going through." I realized that he really did. And then, I let all my uncertainty out. "But Jake… you're the pack's Alpha, tough and smart. I'm just a freak, the first girlie wolf in history. Sam ditched me. And even my human cycle isn't running as it should. How could Nawheel and I ever be a match?" Jacob snorted. "First of all, his name is Nahuel, not Nawheel. And second… are you seriously saying this? You're imprinted on a half-vampire who stopped aging over a century ago and you are worried about your cycle?" He softly looked me in the eyes, reassuring me. "Just enjoy this. Talk to him. Get to know him. Imprints are a miracle, things will work out."

I was silent for a few seconds, pondering over his words. There was something there… I would talk to Nahuel in the morning, I decided. For now, family problems needed to be solved. "Okay, you convinced me", I told Jacob. "Now what about my family mess, oh wise Alpha?" I considered telling him of the conversation, but then remembered he had seen the details already. I would expect him to be more bothered by it, even though he was not involved. The whole situation was scandalous, not only for the pack but for the situation at the Res. What would happen if the elders found out mom was not the only woman dad ("Harry", I mentally corrected myself) had? Yet Jacob looked mostly unimpressed. "What about the family mess?" he replied. "What bothers you? Being related to Embry is not such a bad thing. Seth could do worse. And as for your father… isn't your father the man who raised you?"

I recalled all those times Harry ("dad", I mentally corrected myself this time) was there for me when I was little. He took me fishing and taught me sports. And when I started dating with Sam, he was the first one to know. Yes, he was my father. But deep inside of me, a new longing was burning. A longing to know my biological father, the one whose blood ran through my veins.

When I told this to Jacob, he understood of course. But he had no idea how I could begin to find my father other than talking to my mother about it. I wasn't sure that would help: mom could be very stubborn and it didn't seem the subject she would want to talk to me about. Still, it was worth trying. In the morning. Now Jacob's calming voice had worked miracles on my anxiousness, fear turned into exhaustion. I wouldn't be able to stay awake much longer, so I closed my eyes and leaned against Jacob's shoulder. It was in no way a romantic thing, but I really did need his support. He put his arm around me, my thoughts got fuzzy and before I knew, they gave way to dreams.


	5. Nightmares and dreams

**A short update, but at least it was pretty fast this time :) Thanks for all the reviews everyone. Leah won't find out who her dad is for now, only later (at the end of the story). You'll just have to trust me that it's going to play a part in the story and it's not just my love of drama ;) This is going to be an "in between" chapter, but I still hope you'll enjoy it!**

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><p><em>I was standing in the woods, surrounded by large trees I didn't recognize. The air was filled with sounds and smells. For some reason, the trees didn't feel safe. It felt like someone was watching me, analyzing my every move, ready to attack. Yet with all the sounds and smells around me, I wasn't able to distinguish the danger. I turned my head, trying to watch my back. For a second, I thought I saw white canines flash in a nearby bush. Well, it wasn't like I would fall prey to some creature of the woods anyway. It would be a big mistake of them to try to attack me. So why did it feel wrong to be here? "Don't be such a paranoid", I told myself. I turned my head back, trying to distinguish the steps on the small path before me. I had to find him. And then I realized I made a fatal mistake by not trusting my intuition. From the corner of my eye, I saw the hunter jumping at me…<em>

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><p>"Whoa, Leah, wake up! What's going on?" Jacob's worried voice brought me back to reality.<p>

I slowly absorbed the surroundings: the rising sun above the forest, the cold rock under my stiff body, the cold morning wind in my face. And the thoughts of Nahuel in my mind.

I met Jacob's confused gaze. "Are you alright?" he asked. "I wanted to wake you, but you just tried to hit me. And you were growling in your sleep. What did you dream about?" he sounded more curious than worried now that I was calming down.

"I don't remember," I told him. "Probably just some lame nightmare. Why were you trying to wake me, anyway?" Judging by the sun, it was not that late yet, probably around nine. And with last night, I thought we'd be sleeping in.

Despite the short night, Jacob seemed pretty awake as he explained me what was going on. "While you were sleeping, I phased and talked to the rest. Quil, Embry and Seth, I mean."

My little brother's name suddenly had me totally awake and listening.

"Seth calmed down just a few hours after the fight with your mother," Jacob continued, "so he went to see Embry. But once they actually saw each other, things got out of hand. Seth still has to work on his temper. He got upset and started yelling at Embry. Stuff I'm not going to repeat here, but Embry's mother was involved. And well, you know how protective Embry gets when somebody mentions his mother. Let alone in the way Seth mentioned her. So he phased and Seth phased and well… From what they've told me, there was quite some action!"

Judging by Jacob's grin, they caught each other good. Jacob must have read my thoughts in my eyes: "Don't worry Leah, Seth's fine. They both needed this fight. Quil was there to intervene if things would get ugly, but luckily, Seth and Embry have a different mindset than we do. They both calmed down soon enough and were able to sort things out. When they told me about the fight, they were actually laughing. Of course…" Jacob's voice trailed off.

"'Of course' what?" I suddenly felt nervous again.

Jacob sounded apologetic as he continued: "of course, Seth and Embry were a bit shocked to find out that you have a different father than they do."

"You told them?" I couldn't believe it. How could he?

He stared me down with a mocking smile: "We were in wolf shape, remember?"

Now I really felt like an idiot. "Uhm yeah, I guess I could have thought of that myself. So how did they take it?"

"Embry was mostly confused, and I can't blame him. He just learned that you were his sister and then suddenly you weren't. He'll probably have to readjust, but other than that he seemed fine. Seth is a different story. He could not believe both his parents had different lovers."

I winced at the truth in those words. "What did he do?"

"I'm not sure, but I asked Quil and Embry to keep an eye on him," Jacob answered.

Somehow, I felt reassured by that. Of course, Quil would be off as soon as he would think of Claire, but Embry was reliable. Jacob was right; Seth could have had worse siblings than Embry. "So… what's the plan for today? Do you think I should go over to them?" I offered without much enthusiasm, my thoughts returning to Nahuel.

"I don't think you should. They'll work it out, no need to make things more complicated than they already are. I'm going to see Nessie. Maybe you should come along to the 'creepy bloodsuckers'," he winked.

Great. Apparently now I was an open book for him, even in human shape. I jumped up. "Let's go. Time for the miracle to work itself out. And after that, I want to talk to my mother. See if I can get her to tell me about my biological father. And uhm… could I borrow one of your sweatpants and t-shirts? I don't feel like going home yet and I don't think we're already at the stage when I should encounter Nahuel naked…"

Jacob just grinned and nodded. Several seconds later two wolfs, one russet and one grey, disappeared in the forest.

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><p>The closer we got to the Cullens' place, the more worried I got. Of course, by now the whole house new about the imprint. How would they react? More important, how would Nahuel react?<p>

Of course, none of these thoughts could stay a secret for Jacob now that we were in wolf shape, sharing our pack's mind. "I forgot to tell you" he thought. "Jasper was very discrete about his knowledge. He only told me. You can tell Nahuel yourself. When you are ready. Jasper promised to try to keep his thoughts under control when Edward was around. As for Alice, she can't see Nahuel anyway, so your imprint doesn't change a thing. Your secret is safe for now."

I pondered over this. Was I ready? Was this the time to tell him? How would he react? Would he be able to handle this? I had no answer to any of these questions.

"Or you could just go with the flow and see when the time is right…" Jacob thought.

Not half bad advice. Besides, we were almost there. I could hear voices inside the house already. More important, I could hear his warm voice. Time to phase back, and then… who knows what might happen?

Jacob and I phased simultaneously. He handed me my clothes. He had stopped by his house earlier to get me something. No pants or shirt I asked for, but for some reason a summer dress. It was a deep blue color, embroidered with silver flowers. It was pretty and it fit me perfectly. One of the advantages of being a werewolf: being able to wear a summer dress around Christmas.

"It's Rebecca's. Some of the clothes she left at home before moving." His face fell a bit as he thought of his older sister whom he hadn't seen around for years. "It looks good on you," he added, appreciating my new look.

"Thanks", I tried my best not to blush. Ever since Sam left me, I stopped caring about the way I looked. It was strange to feel sparks of desire for someone again. I suddenly realized that my love for Sam started feeling like something from a past life. I smiled at that thought.

"Smiles look good on you as well," Jacob complimented me, slightly impatient. "Now, let's go. Don't you hear the voices inside the house? There's something going on!"


	6. Unexpected decisions

**It took me a couple of days, but this chapter is pretty long (compared to the others). Next one will follow, but probably only later next week.**

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><p>I felt something was off the second we walked in. Everybody was gathered around the large table in the living room. The conversation stopped abruptly as we walked in, and all heads turned to us. They probably didn't expect me by Jacob's side; I tried to avoid the bloodsuckers as much as possible. "Yeah, I didn't expect to come here out of free will as well", I thought. And then I noticed nobody was looking at me. Instead, all eyes were on Jacob.<p>

"Speaking of the devil!" Rosalie flashed him a smile. I would expect her voice to be sarcastic, but it wasn't. I couldn't pinpoint the exact emotion though. Rosalie sounded… relieved? And… pleading? That could hardly be right. Judging by his confused look, Jacob didn't understand it either. What was going on?

For a few seconds, nobody would talk. I quickly scanned the faces of the gathered. Tiny Alice kept her expression blank as she held Jasper's hand. Jasper and Emmett seemed tense, their eyes burning with excitement. Rosalie, Emmett's other half, kept a defensive pose as she held Renesmee. Edward looked confused, focused on something in his head, as if he was solving a problem. Next to him was Bella, of course. She was the only one who seemed calm. Carlisle and Esmee were absent, probably hunting. Then there was Huilen (Jacob filled me in on her correct name on the way), looking sad. And then I made myself look at the last person in the room, Nahuel.

His eyes were like nothing I had ever seen. They were dark and warm, magnets to my soul. It was only then that I saw their expression. The panic mixed with indecision. The look in Nahuel's eyes triggered a protectiveness I didn't know I was capable of. I almost walked over to him, but I felt Jacob squeezing my hand, reminding me to stay by his side.

And then I heard a low, incredulous chuckle. Edward. Of course, he could read my mind now. I sighed mentally: it was so stupid to expose myself like this. So much for the secret. "Keep this to yourself!" I thought fiercely, and to my relief he nodded briefly. Bella looked at him, puzzled, but he just softly shook his head, smiling.

He looked serious again. "Jacob, Leah. Alice just saw something that possibly influences all of us. We are still not sure what to do about it. Alice, will you tell them what you saw?"

Alice frowned, as if she was unsure where to start: "Huilen and Nahuel were planning their trip home, so I tried to see if everything would go well. You know of course that I can't see Nahuel's future, the same way as I can't see yours. That's why I tried to watch for just Huilen's future, as she temporarily made up her mind to travel alone in several weeks. All was well initially. The plane would have a small delay, but nothing to be worried about. Yet as I checked for her arrival near the village Huilen and Nahuel live, there would be two faces. The first one was Jane's." – Several hisses were produced when Alice said her name – "The other face was one I had never seen before. A man in his thirties, clearly one of us. He held Jane's hand. And then, everything disappeared. I managed to draw him, when I was in trance."

I forced myself to keep looking at Alice, instead of Nahuel. With every inch of my skin, I felt the tension building up in the room, with Nahuel as its center. Alice inhaled and continued.

"When I was myself again, I looked at the drawing. The man's face was still unfamiliar to me. Jasper didn't know him either. We showed the drawing to the others, but no one had ever seen him before. No one but Nahuel. The man on the drawing was his father."

A deafening silence. Yet I didn't realize the full impact of Alice's discovery. "Can't they just stay here? Surely after our last encounter Jane won't come here for a confrontation?"

This time, it was Nahuel who answered my question. His voice enchanted me, and I had to focus to hear what he was saying. "There is more. Once Alice knew about Joham, she tried to see for his future. I didn't think she would be able to, because of my sisters. However, she could see his future perfectly clear. Until he and Jane would arrive in Italy. Then it all became a blur." He shuddered.

I felt my face twist with shock as I realized what they already knew. Aro had promised to stop Joham, but to leave Nahuel's sisters alone. Apparently, he hadn't kept that promise. Joham's daughters were no longer in South America, they were in Italy instead.

And then I remembered the desire in Aro's eyes when he first learned about Renesmee, and later, when he heard about Nahuel's sisters. We were fools to think Aro had given up. He had just changed his target, masking this with his apparent fear for Bella's powers. For a second, I tried to picture how I would feel if Seth would fall prey to the worst of the blood suckers. Nausea hit me and I felt my hands shaking. "Calm down, this isn't helping," I ordered myself as I focused on my breathing.

"What are we going to do about it?" Jacob decided to join the conversation.

"That's what we were discussing earlier, when you walked in," Bella answered him. "Jane is there. I think she and Joham are our only shot at getting Nahuel's sisters back. But in order to get to Jane, we'll have to deal with her abilities. This means I'll have to go to South America. I can't go alone obviously, I'm not a fighter. Jasper, Alice and Edward will join me. "

I considered Bella's words. Yes, they made sense. Jasper en Edward were experienced fighters: they would be able to protect Bella as she in turn would defend them from Jane's sadistic torturing skills. Alice was small but I've seen her fighting earlier: she was impossibly quick and her future visions gave her a huge advantage. Yet there seemed to be more to this than we were told.

Edward answered my thoughts: "However, this could be a trick. A distraction. There is no way of saying if – once the most experienced of us are off to South America – the Volturi won't show up here. For Renesmee. Their ultimate revenge at the humiliation we've put them through."

By my side, Jacob squeezed my hand in a way that made me sure: he would not let that happen.

"Yes Jacob," Edward continued, "you would be able to protect her if it came to a physical fight. But what if Jane would get here? Or Alec? You wouldn't be able to last against them."

He was right, I realized. Jacob was an amazing fighter, but he was not almighty. Jane or Alec would have him incapable of fighting in seconds.

"We can't take the chance of the Volturi returning here. That's why I want to take Renesmee with us." Bella's quiet and steady words caused hisses all over the room.

"Are you insane?" Jacob snapped. "It's far too dangerous! I'm not letting you do this!" Rosalie beamed; this was clearly the reaction she had hoped for. That explained why she was happy to see Jake.

"There are no options, Jacob. We are the ones who put them in danger; we are the ones who have to solve this. We are going," Bella argued.

"I appreciate your offer, Bella." Nahuel's soft voice couldn't be a bigger contrast to Jake's, who was almost growling. "But we can't take that risk. It's too dangerous for Renesmee. If something would happen to her, everything you've been through would be for nothing. I can't let that happen. However, I would appreciate it if you would let Huilen stay with you for a while. I'm going back alone."

"But that's basically suicide!" Bella retorted. Incredible, for once we actually agreed on something.

"No it's not. I'm not going to face them. I'll try to remain unseen while I'll try to discover more. Maybe there's something we still haven't thought of."

He was set on going, I could see that. But letting him go alone? I couldn't, I wouldn't let that happen. I wondered if there was no place we could let Renesmee stay safely while we would be gone. The Denali's maybe? They didn't seem that bad. Then again, we couldn't be sure the Volturi wouldn't track Renesmee there. This seemed to be a puzzle with no solution.

And then Edward's eyes lit up and I had hope again. "There is a way we can do this, actually… Leah thought of leaving Nessie with the Denali's…" – it was just too annoying to have somebody in my head even when I was human – "but that wouldn't work. If the Volturi would track her there, we could never be there in time. But we have other friends where she would be safe. Zafrina and the other Amazones will be happy to see her. That way, we will be close enough to interfere if the Volturi will decide to come looking for Nessie."

"It is a good idea," Bella agreed as well. "Zafrina made me promise to bring Nessie over sometime. I bet she didn't think it would be this soon, but I'm sure she won't mind."

Renesmee, who appeared to be sleeping in Rosalie's arms, suddenly opened her eyes and beamed. She put her hand palm against Rosalie's face. I wondered what she was telling her. Whatever it was, Rosalie would not be able to refuse Renesmee anything. Judging by her resigned look, Renesmee liked Edward's solution.

And judging by Jacob's shaking hands, he didn't.

"Have you all lost your mind?" He was furious. "She. Is. Not. Going." The shaking got more intense. I was just hoping he would able to control himself.

Apparently the others thought the same. Bella took a small, hesitant step towards Renesmee. Jasper stared at Jacob, probably assessing his mood. And then Renesmee decided it was enough: "My Jacob, we must go. They helped us so much. Please?" she pleaded in a singing voice looking him straight in the eyes.

For a few seconds he returned his look and then he looked down. "You're right, Nessie. Of course you are. I'm sorry. It's just that I go crazy worrying about you." He weakly smiled at the little girl. "But I have to come along. I cannot stay here, not knowing how you are."

"Of course you don't have to stay here waiting," Edward agreed. "I've talked with Zafrina before, trying to explain to her the nature and power of an imprint. She'll understand that the two of you can't be apart."

For the first time I could relate to Jacob's worries. I was worried sick about Nahuel. Jane was a sadistic bitch, despite her angelic appearance, and the pain she could inflict was something I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy, let alone my imprint. Yet I doubted they would let me come along. I was a member of Jake's pack, but this didn't mean we had to go together.

Apart from Jacob and possibly Jasper, Edward was the only one who knew and understood. And for now, he was the only one who could read my thoughts. I looked at him, pleading. The corners of his mouth went up slightly. Would he have a plan?

"I think Leah should come along with us as well", he said.

Ugh. That wasn't really subtle. I couldn't imagine the clan would like me to go with them. There were puzzled looks of almost every face in the room. "Wonder how Edward's going to explain that one", I thought.

"Do you remember the fight with the newborns?" he continued.

Obviously Renesmee couldn't remember it, she wasn't born then. Nahuel and Huilen also didn't know what this was about. As for the rest of us? Of course we remembered. As if we could ever forget. But what had that to do with it?

"Bella and I stayed away from the group then," Edward explained. "But we had to keep in touch with the others. Therefore, Seth stayed with us. As his mind was connected with Sam's, we could communicate despite the enormous distance."

Now I understood. "And you want me to do the same, because Jacob and I could stay in touch, in case something goes wrong?"

He nodded. "That way, Jacob could stay with Nessie while you would come with us. If you don't mind, of course. Otherwise, we could always ask Seth."

I bared my teeth, faking anger. "No way am I letting my little brother get into this. I'll come myself. Besides," I smiled, "I've never been in South America."

"Thanks", I mentally told Edward. "I owe you one."

Unlike my expectations, the others didn't need much conviction. Edward's idea was good and everyone had to acknowledge that. It took us a couple more minutes to decide on the specifics, but I didn't pay as much attention anymore. I thought about my imprint. Would I need to protect him in South America? Even more important, would I be able to?


End file.
